How to Choose Your Doula

We hear it more frequently these days: “Every woman should hire a doula,” or something along the lines of that, but what we don’t hear as often is how choosing the right doula is far more important than just having one present. Choosing the right doula to support you during pregnancy, labor, and/or postpartum may come with ease for some while others may view it as a real challenge. If you’ve struggled with previous traumas or have trust issues with people in general, it’s understandable that one may have reservations against inviting someone in their sacred space in that way. Birth is such a transformative and sacred process that the support should come with high reverence and understanding for the process, honoring the expecting family through every stage.

Aligning with the right doula can really improve your birth outcomes overall. When you trust your doula and they are in harmony with your birth plan, things can flow beautifully. A doula is a special role that should be there to fully support YOU. This is the one aspect of your birth team that you get to choose, with the special knowledge needed to guide the process so choosing the best doula for you is important.

Receiving doula care is less about having one present and more about alignment with a support person to walk with you through your sacred journey. A doula tends to be one of the most consistent aspects of your perinatal journey - one that you are completely and directly in control of choosing. Finding the right companion support can greatly affect and improve your experience.

Ask yourself these questions when choosing a doula for birth, labor, and postpartum support:

What is the doula’s philosophy for birth? Does this philosophy align or crash with the intentions I have for birth?

Early in my career when I would tell people that I was a doula, they often assumed that I worked only with those who are having home births. I used the moments to educate and explain that doulas support in any birth setting and often most impactful in the hospital space where women’s birth and medical rights are challenged most. At the current point of my career though, I find that I am better able to support the families who are aiming for a physiological, natural birth and primarily those outside of a clinical setting.

When a doula has strong views on birth or the perinatal period, it may often be felt from the expecting mom and if it’s not a direct alignment, this may make you more resistant to trusting their guidance later down the line. Understanding the doula’s goals for supporting families is valuable to saving you time and energy down the line. Get clear about what you truly want for your labor outcomes, and find a doula that speaks highly to this goal.

What do I value most for my experience?

If your main goal is a healthy baby and you’re open to any type of labor and birth that you receive, then a general and even a newer doula can be helpful for you. Having some sort of help that’s dedicated to only you is better than none at all. If you’ve experienced birth already or have researched to learn more about birth, your search and fine tuning for a doula may look a lot different. Your awareness will lead you to asking the doula more questions to see how they can help support you in overcoming these challenges.

Does the doula’s training and education match my needs?

If looking for insurance coverage - does the doula have the proper certification for approval? If planning a home birth - does the doula have an understanding for how this process differs from a hospital birth? These are some important questions to ask when looking to align with the right doula for you. These types of questions explore the deeper needs that can make or break choosing the right doula for you.

Some additional tips and key takeaways:

Pay attention to red flags and don’t ignore any gut feelings you receive.

Being pregnant can make you more intuitive as you are responsible not only for your own energy, but also the one that the new baby brings forth. Choosing a doula should flow and feel like a divine connection. You should feel good and relaxed in their presence. The right doula for you won’t need a bunch of meetings for you to know if they will be a good support for you throughout the journey. Trust your gut and pay attention to how the doula feels when you’re connecting with them and asking questions.

Avoid burnout and decision fatigue by choosing three doulas to interview and being intentional about choosing one of them. Research the doulas thoroughly before reaching out to interview. Review their websites and social media pages, check for reviews, and get an overall feel for their energy before meeting for a consultation.

Review the contract early on and be sure that it feels clear and aligned before proceeding forward.

Understanding what the doula expects to be paid and their timeline for payment is important. Communication is key to getting your needs met, but respecting the doula as a professional and individual with their own needs should be honored as well. Hiring a doula means that you value their work and understand that them receiving what they need allows them to show up and support you early on.

The doula’s full scope of practice should be clearly stated and you should fully understand their role before choosing your doula as well. This protects you from medical fraud, as well as protects the doula from unrealistic expectations.

Final remarks…

While we value and respect doulas and the work that they do, it is important to not uphold any to unrealistic expectations or blaming doulas for less than desirable birth outcomes.

A doula can impact and improve birth outcomes, but they should not be the determining factor on how you feel about your personal labor and birth experience. At the end of the day, you are the master of the process and you do have the power to approve or disapprove anything that you don’t want to experience. Remembering this is a key tip to carry with you no matter what type of birth you’re planning to have. A doula should be there to enhance the process, but not completely carry and control the outcome.

Love always, Jemila